It's another double edition (I promise to try to not make this a habit). I decided when I started this to give as accurate a presentation of this journey as possible, warts and all...there may be some warts in this one. So here's how it all happened....
Last Tuesday I signed the final paperwork with Broken Halo Records, yay! I felt good about the whole day; I wanted to go out and have a celebratory drink, but I did have rehearsal- and who better to share the day with than my band?
I got to rehearsal, and told the guys that all was final, and that we'd be recording in March!
Not the eager responses I expected.
Pragmatic responses about song choices, tracks, schedules, and a barrage of other particulars issued forth- and totally killed my buzz. I sighed, and re-adjusted my thinking to take in a whole new list of concerns/issues to be decided on...But I guess that's life. Nothing is ever an end in itself; each stage breeds its own litany of details that demands its own attention.
However, that night, for that moment, I just wanted everyone to be happy. And a beer. Yes, I really wanted a damn beer.:)
Saturday night I returned to the scene of my earlier-in-2007 ignominy ( read- me barfing in the bathroom) to play an acoustic set. The Rainbow is a funny place for me- it's the only place I've found in the area that plays music I can dance to- I'm a funny girl, and I can only dance if I FEEL it, and I only FEEL it if it's Motley Crue, Poison, Skid Row, Cinderella, Queensryche, Slaughter, etc. When we first moved to CA, we spent a night upstairs, quietly sipping drinks, until the DJ called to me:
"Hey, Blondie- what's it gonna take to get you to dance?"
"Alice in Chains!!!"
He responded by putting on Man in the Box. Well, the gauntlet was thrown, and before I knew it, I was being approached by a man who asked me if I was a professional pole dancer.
My mother would be so proud.
Well, this Saturday I took Sean, Christie and my guitar and busted out some songs that I don't play that often theses days- My Emily, Coming Down, Crystal Ball, and the newest one, Carnal Crucifixion. It was fun, and afterwards I talked with Lacy Younger, an artist that I keep crossing paths with, while our little threesome munched on a pepperoni pizza and beer.
I had had 2 glasses of Almond Champagne and 2 beers when the DJ put on Joan Jett, "I Hate Myself for Loving You".
That was pretty much the end of my serenity, and I danced like a stripper the night before rent day until I had side stitches. At the end of the night we went to find Christie, who had esconced herself at a booth with several venerable gentlemen, and came home filled with delicious.
We stood in the kitchen and ate frozen yogurt while Christie sobered up (rather admirably), then called it a night. The last thing I thought of before bed, ( with apprehension) was....
Joe had mentioned that "We should have a business meeting".
In terms of a band, that's like saying to your significant other "We need to talk". I was nervous about what on earth the boys would have to say, but decided the best course of action was to have the meeting, feed them, fill 'em with beer, and let the chips fall where they may.
I worried too much. I have made great strides in getting over the concern that they will find greener pastures, but wasn't sure if my pasture still held the amenities they required. The danger, in my experience, has always been that as soon as a success comes, someone becomes a rockstar- and it's never me. However, I held out hope that all would go well.
It did- the guys are truly lovely people; and they each have proved themselves more than once.
Rem is the Rock. He has been there since the day I walked into his kitchen and said:
"Hey- you wanna play bass in my band?"
"I absolutely do", he said while taking a turkey out of his oven. No long thought process. No questions. Just IN.
Two incarnations later, he's still here, holding it down.
Jake. My Dear. Since the day he sent me an e-mail asking if he could audition on a different day from EVERYONE ELSE because he was doing a demo for a company that he endorses, he's been the sweet pain in my neck that I couldn't do without. Whenever I've really needed Jake, he's been there.
And now Joe- the missing piece we didn't know was missing. He's sharp, he's edgy, he keeps the rest on our toes, and makes all of us want to be better- or at least learn our pentatonic scales :).
Together, they create the net that catches my melody when it's falling, guards it when it's teetering, covers it when it's vulnerable, or sinks behind it when it's secure.
I know that very few things in this life are permanent.
I have made the mistake of putting all my eggs in a basket that couldn't hold, more than once. But at this time, this group of people- I couldn't ask for more.
(Except for an investor with $5,000 he/she wants to sink into this CD:).
I've never ascribed to the "hired gun" theory- a lot of solo artists do, and I understand why. But for me, to feel safe on stage, I need to know the people on it, and love them. And know that they love me- and that together, we give a damn what happens to the others...and to that end, they need to know that their tails are covered when we make this new record.
This business is mercurial, and even though I put out the biggest risk, it's because I stand to receive the biggest gain. They are my friends, yes. But they are also professionals.
They need to get paid for their time. That's how music is made (Rem- I wink to you:).
On my end, I'm friekin' broke because I'm a singer/songwriter with an actor for a husband.
I don't know what I'm going to pay them. I don't know HOW I'm going to pay them. I don't know how the public is going to receive his record. But right before I started writing this, a MySpace friend sent me this quote:
"You are never given a wish,without being given the power to make it come true".
And on that note, I am reminded that we've come this far, God is good, and I will sleep securely tonight.:)